Limiting Beliefs: An alternative view.
This image shows Chantelle with her arms outstretched in a wee little side lunde position. Wearing baby pink Nike sports leggings and a black Nike sports bra for the Nike X Zalando ‘My Kinda Bra’ campaign.
Limiting beliefs: what are they?
A limiting belief is anything that you accept to be true that also place a limitation upon yourself and your abilities eg. ‘I’m no good at drawing’ or ‘I’m not smart enough to write a book’. Limiting beliefs get a lot of negative attention in the personal development and coaching world. There tends to be this theme in the personal development world that we always need to be striving to become the best versions of ourselves. Personally, I think that sounds bloody exhausting! Behaviour change as an adult requires commitment and energy! I think we can be smarter about it. This blog and free resource below will help you ask a few simple questions to help with the overwhelm that the personal development can sometimes (ironically) create.
I have a slightly different opinion than most as I don’t believe that we need to be striving to dismantle all of our limiting beliefs. I believe we need to make a conscious choice about which limiting beliefs we challenge. Often, there was a point in time where that belief kept you safe or served a purpose, particularly when you were younger and dependent on caregivers. For example, the belief ‘no one cares what I have to say’ may have grown from a need to remain quiet as a child in a volatile environment, learning this kept you safe. However, now that you are older and living independently in a safe environment, it may not be required and you may want to address it. Additionally, the personal developmental world is built on a bed of individualism where we, the individual is responsible rather than giving credit where credit is due; to the big institutions that govern our lives. It is important to acknowledge the role that society plays in our wounds and in our healing. When it comes to the healing you wish to embark on and should you want to challenge your limiting beliefs, I want you to know one thing…
It is your choice. You have the power to make that choice when it is right for you.
"I’m not ‘pretty’ enough to be a sports model.”
This was a personal limiting belief for me.
My limiting belief of not being a sports model kept me safe, it did not take me down a road that I would not be ready for. I only realised once I was healing from my disordered eating that I had even had a problem in the first place. It was as if I was coming out of a 8 year long fugue state. I didn't realise that my obsession with healthy food or my highly restrictive diet was problematic, everyone told me I was doing great?! (More on the normalising of problematic behaviours another time). That limiting belief ensured my disordered eating didn't take a big turn for the worse.
(Image is above is me on a shoot for Zalando and Nike)
So how do you know which limiting beliefs to address?
You can start by answering these questions:
How much distress is the limiting belief causing you?
Why this particular belief and why now?
How committed are you to changing this behaviour?
If you are clear on these and have identified that you are committed to challenging this particular belief, now and you have the capacity to do so - dive in!
Before we get to the how, I want to share with you something about the confirmation bias.
Confirmation bias - what is it?
Simply put, we look for information that confirms what we already believe to be true. We filter all the sensory input we receive on a daily basis (which is A LOT) and look for the information that proves our worldview to be correct.Knowing that our brains do this automatically for us, let’s use it to our advantage. Try this exercise with me...
How can you start challenging your limiting beliefs?
Write down a limiting belief you hold about yourself.
Now look for evidence of that belief within the last 14 days (or a time span that makes the most sense). Eg. I couldn’t write a blog, no one wants to know read what I have to say
Flip the script.
“I could create a successful blog, there are many people who want to read what I have to say.” Chances are, you don’t believe what you have just written BUT that’s okay, these things take time.
Back it up.
Over the next month, look for every single shred of evidence that backs up your new belief. That time your friend asked you for your advice, when someone asked you to proof read something for them, anything that can act as evidence for your new belief.
Be patient (and kind) with yourself my dear, these things take time. We do not change beliefs we have had for years, in a few short days.
I have created a free download for you to support you with this activity. I would love to know how you went with this exercise my dear.
I want to be upfront here and let you know that by downloading this resource will subscribe you to my mailing list but dw, you’ll only receive useful things in your inbox and you can leave whenever you want!
Are you ready to get out of your own way?
Let’s connect and see what magic we could create, book your free 45min clarity call.
