Mindfulness 101
People talk about mindfulness a lot. You probably have had a friend recommend it to you or maybe your workplace has even run a few workshops. But did you know that it is an ancient practice? Far from the corporate wellbeing sessions - mindfulness is derived from Buddhism. The Buddhist teachings state that our original state of mind is one of clarity and intent, however, through life experiences and learnings our minds become the chaotic places that most of us experience on a daily basis. I have read a few posts that liken our minds to ‘drunken monkeys’, which I find quite hilarious and totally accurate on some days. If our minds are filled with drunken monkeys then mindfulness is like rehab for the unruly monkeys in our mind.
Borrowing a quote from Jon Kabatt-Zin,
mindfulness is:
“the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally”.
Of course, I have some issues with quoting a middle aged, white man when talking about something derived from ancient Buddhism and Hindu work. Yet, I haven’t quite figured out how to get around this as it was how I was introduced to mindfulness and I want to acknowledge his work so if you, my dear reader have a better quote for me - hit me with it!
What I love about the definition above is that it’s simple. The thing that sticks out the most for me is the last part, non-judgmentally. This idea of ‘it is, what it is’. How often do you find yourself trying to shape the present and the future to an image you have in your mind?
I’m sure if you were honest with yourself just then you can see that you are constantly trying to mould and shape yourself, your environment and sometimes, even those around you! Whereas, mindfulness encourages us to let it be. To sit in the present moment and truly see things for what they are, whilst resisting the impulse to change anything (yes, that is the challenging part). Being mindful is about the awareness that is created when we are anchored in the present moment with intent, leaving judgement behind.
Mindfulness is a tool that I use every single day. It’s embedded in my life and my work with others. One of the first things I implement with my 1:1 Coaching clients, is building a mindfulness practice. I have even added mindful sessions to the Piece by Piece Mover’s community. Now I know that you have probably tried it before but the thing is, it didn’t stick! It can be challenging to make new habits so I wanted to write this blog post to show you how my clients have successfully embedded mindfulness within their life.
When I listen to people’s previous experiences of mindfulness, I have found that there are some common misconceptions and I am going to run you through them now.
‘I can’t sit still…’
It may be useful here to highlight that there is a difference between mindfulness and meditation. Meditation is usually a seated formal practice. Whereas, mindfulness could be viewed as an informal form of mediation that can be done anywhere, during any activity (like the activities listed above).
You don’t have to sit still. I teach a mindful movement session in the Mover’s community where our goal is to focus on the movement and when your mind wanders (which is inevitable), I invite you to bring your mind back to the movement or the breathe. You can do many life activities whilst being mindful, as long as you are paying attention, on purpose and non-judgmentally - you are doing it.
You could be cutting the veggies for dinner and focusing on every slice.
You could be having a shower and feeling all the sensations of the water.
You could be lying in bed after waking and feeling the warmth of bed, the texture of your sheets and that gratitude of a new day.
You don’t have to be sitting still.
‘Thoughts keep popping into my mind and I get frustrated’
That’s okay because it’s not about emptying your mind. Your brain creates thoughts, that’s its job. Being mindful is the act of acknowledging the thoughts and then letting them go. Often, you can become frustrated because you think ‘you aren’t doing it right’, however let me remind you about the non judgemental element of mindfulness. There is no right or wrong. This can help alleviate the frustration because it changes your goal posts and takes the pressure off to do it ‘correctly’.
Further to that, bringing the mind back each time it does wander - that’s where the magic is. That’s the practice. Each time your mind wanders, that is a welcome opportunity to bring the mind back to the present.
‘It’s not really my vibe - it’s a woo-woo yoga thing’
You don’t need to be pretzeled into any kind of yogi position to practice mindfulness. This image can really act as a barrier for people being open to trying mindfulness. I would argue that mindfulness is one of the most accessible things you can do. If you can take notice of your breath as it enters and leaves your body, you are doing it. If you can pay attention to what is coming up for you at any moment, wherever you are, then you can practice mindfulness. If you can acknowledge and sit with your racing thoughts then you can be mindful. It’s about acknowledgement without the need to try and do anything about it. There are zero expectations - what a welcome change hey?!
‘I’m not good at it’
There’s no good or bad in this space, there just is. You are probably starting to realise that the idea of being ‘good’ at mindfulness seems a little counterintuitive because if judgement is not involved ‘good’ and ‘bad’ cease to exist. What you may not be very good at is remembering to do it and for that I have some things that will be sure to help you!
Now that I have debunked some of your excuses misconceptions. How can you build mindfulness into your life?
Habit stacking.
As mentioned by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits, habit stacking is about leveraging your pre-existing neural pathways. Let’s explain this with an example; every morning I roll out my mat and stretch. If I wanted to create a new habit, I could stack it onto my stretch. Eg. I want to forge a new habit of writing in my gratitude journal every morning. When I roll out my mat I would bring my journal and have it next to me so that when I finish stretching I can write in my gratitude journal. I am leveraging off my neural pathways that have already formed to get my mat out and roll around on the floor, to create the new habit of gratitude journaling.
Owning your mornings.
Often, our mornings are hijacked before we have had an opportunity to take a breath. Our first few moments of when we wake up can help us set up our day. If we start it with a blaring alarm that scares the shit out of us and throws us out of bed, we are starting the day with a big injection of fight or flight and that’s not ideal. There are a couple of elements to owning your mornings:
Often, our mornings are hijacked before we have had an opportunity to take a breath. Our first few moments of when we wake up can help us set up our day. If we start it with a blaring alarm that scares the shit out of us and throws us out of bed, we are starting the day with a big injection of fight or flight and that’s not ideal. There are a couple of elements to owning your mornings:
Keep your phone away from your bed. I know, I know… it’s your alarm clock and you need it to wake you up. Interestingly enough, there was something before phones that could wake you up, so I would consider going vintage babes. Maybe not a rooster but an alarm clock might help you. I have this one and I LOVE it, it wakes me up with light first and it is a much gentler way to be brought into the day.
Don’t check your phone as soon as you wake up. Immediately your day is hijacked. Whatsapp, messenger, texts, emails - all of it are a big distraction. Choose a couple of things you would like to do for yourself before you touch your phone. Example, three deep breaths, roll downs, journal, cup of tea - ANYTHING that can support you having a day that you will feel in control of! This may mean that you will need to get a little better at forward planning (nothing wrong with that!). Checking what you have on the next day before putting your phone away for the night will ensure you don’t miss anything with your new luxurious morning routine!
Set yourself up for success. If your first meeting is at 9am try not to snooze till 8:45am - you’ll be frazzled all day. Try and create time in your schedule to set yourself up for success. Allow yourself enough time to eat breakfast, have a shower and maybe even move your body! If you are not a morning person, that’s okay - use that information and work with it (not against it). Try to schedule the things you need to be most alert for during the afternoons so you can have all cylinders firing!
Mindful movement
I mentioned that I teach a mindful movement session over at the Piece by Piece Mover’s community. Mindfulness is a value that is woven through this whole community. At the start of every session (not just mindful movement) we take a mindful moment together. In this new world of Zoom calls and online collaboration, we are often zooming from meeting to meeting and these mindful moments provide an opportunity to land on the mat, with the community. These mindful moments allow us to leave the last meeting behind and focus our intent on the present.
How is mindfulness incorporated? The mindful movement sessions are slower than the other sessions in the community and they focus on sweeping, expansive movements with some stillness mixed in. The stillness provides small bite sized opportunities that are great for those who ‘can’t sit still’ because then we are on the move again. I encourage everyone to lean into any discomfort they feel. Be that from the stretch, the stillness or the space that is created to be with themselves. For those of you who are always on the go and have resistance to slowing down (this used to be me), sometimes slowing down can feel daunting and a little scary as to what may come up.
I hope you are starting to see that carving out this time for yourself is important. You will be able to show up for all of those things you love doing. You will be able to show up for your direct reports and your team, your partner, your friends and most importantly, you will learn to show up for yourself! That’s what all of this is, learning to show up for yourself, choosing yourself and knowing that you deserve good things too.
Mindfulness may not be for you…
I add this little bit because I have gotten some feedback in the past that the slower classes are mentally challenging for some people and I want to acknowledge that. Being alone with their thoughts when they are usually moving too fast to notice them can be a stark contrast.
If you have experienced significant traumas or live with a mental health disorder, it is always best to consult a mental health professional first. Whilst I am trained in mindfulness and have studied Psychology, I am not a Psychologist. I believe the benefits of mindfulness far outweigh the risk factors, however, it is also necessary to acknowledge risk factors. Our minds are vast endless places and if you don’t think exploring that vast, endless mass is a vibe for you, then it’s not and I support that decision 100%!
With my background in Psychology, Mindfulness, counselling and eating disorders - I understand the complexities of our relationship with food and movement. If at any point you feel you need to stop the class, pause, anything - I encourage it because you know your Self best. You know what you need in any given moment, I don’t. I can provide options, an open ear and some insights but the course of action is up to you.
I hope you have picked up a few little pointers here on how to weave mindfulness into your life. I doubly hope you have seen the benefits of embracing mindfulness and the freedom and liberation that comes with slowing down. Learning how to slow down and listen to my body has been my greatest accomplishment in life - it has changed my life for the better and it has helped my clients learn to slow down and savour the moment!
I love hearing from you so if anything in this post speaks to you, let me know in the comments below.
Stay curious my dears.
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