What is Transformational Coaching?
1:1 Transformational Coaching is a relationship that is entered into by two people, the coach and the coachee or client. The coachee wants support in creating meaningful, sustainable change in an area of their life. The coach is responsible for creating a container in which it is safe to explore all desires and possibilities so that a path can be created toward a desired outcome.
Lately, as a Transformational Coach I have been mostly working with creative freelancers and business owners to help them disentangle their self worth from their work so they can create with ease.
This allows them to build empowered relationships with themselves, their work and their communities. I have spent the last year working with these types of humans and the creativity that can be created in a coaching container is POWERFUL.
Some common challenges I support my clients to overcome are:
the self doubt that comes with forging their own path
the overwhelm that comes from being a multi-passionate human
the helplessness that comes from a harsh inner critic
the fear of failure so often masked by perfectionism (hello high achievers)
the frustration and resentment that comes from placing everyone’s needs before their own
the inability to see their own inherent value
My journey to becoming a Transformational Coach
As a gal who studied Psychology and was well on her way to be a Clinical Psychologist, I didn’t have the best impression of coaches. I was sceptical… and to be honest, with good reason. I am still highly sceptical of some practices within the coaching industry but after seeing the magic that can come from a coaching container… I am absolutely converted.
My background in Psychology had me logging hundreds of hours practicing the skills necessary be a Psychologist and whilst they aren’t entirely necessary to be a coach… they certainly help!
For example:
Learning how to keep a session about the client and not about myself. This allows the client to be front and centre in their own journey.
Using evidence based strategies rather than just copying what I learnt from previous coaches (or instagram).
Not just relying on my personal wisdom to create a coaching container, which means there is more flexibility for you to create your own experience as a client.
Being committed to my own personal development and seeking out support from mentors and peers so I can be the best coach possible for my clients.
Referring on! I am acutely aware of what I do not know and I am not a licensed mental health professional. Sometimes it is best to refer on. I am grateful that I can see when that opportunity presents itself in my clients and have highlighted areas for my clients to work on with their therapists such as inner child work, or mood and attention challenges.
As your coach, I am deeply committed to your success. My mum used to say I was as ‘subtle as a sledgehammer’ and I think that combined with my huge heart makes me an exceptional coach because I will challenge you. I will challenge you to become an active participant in your life rather than a bystander. I will remind you of your own words and desires and I will teach you the tools you need for when the fear comes knocking and you want to shrink into smallness. I will be with you every step of the way until you realise that you have everything you need within you.
Being in an unregulated industry, like coaching, you need to know where your lane is and whilst they might look similar, Coaching and therapy have different functions.
By building self awareness and an inspirational vision, coaching allows for huge transformations to be created in a person’s life. I have coached multiple people through career re-direction, creating a home within themselves, creating the building blocks of new businesses, and building more authentic relationships with themselves and others.
The coaching container is versatile.
It is a safe place to retrospectively unpack and understand scenarios whilst also being a space where you can cast yourself into the future in order to achieve desired outcomes. It allows you to explore unfinished thoughts and rough ideas whilst also practicing the skills to succinctly share what you need support with. The coaching space is a judgment free zone where you can bring your thoughts (polished or otherwise) and desires to turn them into new action. It can be whatever you need it to be.
Consider a past client of mine….
They had taken the bold step to resign from their job without another job lined up. They knew that the role and company wasn’t right for them and had already made moves - excellent move. What they needed my support for was creating the life they had in her mind.
My client could visualise what they wanted but there were a couple of things holding them back.
1) They had spent a long time creating safety from her fear of failure through perfectionism.
Perfectionism is a protective mechanism. Generally, those who seek perfection are terrified of failure. In order to reduce the likelihood of failure people who strive for perfection will often try to maintain control of their circumstances. Thus, avoiding making big moves in their life unless they absolutely have to. They may be highly critical of others but chances are they are the most critical toward themselves. Learning to be a good friend to herself was the key to Sarah’s success through coaching.
Through one of the exercises we did together my client noticed how mean the voice in their head could be. Due to increased self awareness they had experienced through the coaching process they began rewriting their internal script. By changing their internal world they were able to face their fear of failure and start taking new action.
2) They had a scarcity mindset
The distance between where my client was and where they wanted was made bigger in their mind due to their scarcity mindset. They were focused on not having enough rather than focusing on where they wanted to get to. This mindset will conjour up questions like:
Can I really make enough money doing what I love?
Am I good enough?
How do I even get clients?
Now these questions might seem fair but when asked from a scarcity mindset you subconsciously don’t think you can succeed. There’s a quote from Henry Ford (random I know but bare with me) that says ‘whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right’ and that holds up when we think of the self concept.
The self concept essentially says that we will always act in accordance with the person we believe ourselves to be. So if you think you aren’t good enough, your actions will reflect that. If you don’t think you will be able to get clients, your actions will reflect that. If you adopt a struggling artist mindset, your actions will reflect that.
A scarcity mindset is a dream killer.
The discomfort created by the thought of not having enough [insert worry here] will be enough for you to think of a million (and one) excuses as to why you can’t even entertain the thought. A scarcity mindset will stop your dreaming dead in it’s tracks. As your coach, it’s my job to support you through your discomfort of dreaming bigger, reaching further and stretching into your fulfillment.
I recently checked in with this client and sent them a screenshot of something they wrote in their discovery questionnaire asking if they remember feeling that way…
This was their response:
Coaching can change your life, if you let it.
If you are ready to bring your desires to life and start living in your fulfillment - I would love to hear from you.
