The surprising benefit of Transformational Coaching
Through Transformational Coaching I help my clients create a life of purpose and fulfilment by supporting them to develop the skills they need to break the shackles of all their should’s and have to’s. Transformational coaching is about recreating your internal world so that you can reimagine your external world.
We build awareness of needs…
We develop new perspective of old stories…
We practice establishing boundaries with others but also ourselves…
We break the stronghold of the confidence paradox and take new action…
And we wrap it all in self compassion.
In my decade of working with people and their wellbeing, I have noticed a sad reality. Most of you have never been encouraged to meet your edges and extend beyond them - you have been encouraged to hit the edges and sit down, becoming as small as possible. You have learnt to put your needs at the bottom of the pile so you can serve others in order to avoid being a burden to others. You have been taught to be happy with ‘enough’ rather than reaching for your wildest wants. You have been taught to stay in the safe confines of what you know and be happy with what comes to you rather than creating what you want.
Smallness has become the norm.
I’m not coming for you if you are happy there. If you are truly happy there, stay there. Why shake it up?
I’m talking to the people that aren’t happy there, who are numb there, who feel stuck there. You want more but you don’t know where you to start. You may have been there for years and when you are stuck there for years it eats away at your confidence. It makes you believe that you can’t do the things you want to do. It plants fear at every corner until you begin to believe that you aren’t capable of having what you want.
2020 was bonkers.
We all had a pretty unique experience in 2020 and for some of us it cast a light into areas of our lives that were flying under the radar. Now you have seen them it’s pretty hard to unsee them, right? There might be that nagging feeling that whispers ‘I don’t want this’ (or maybe it screams it). There might be this tension that lives rent free in your tummy and your jaw. There might be this swirling confusion that leaves you feeling drained and ‘meh’ with life.
You have the ability to influence your experience.
What people don’t know is that through Transformational Coaching you have more ability to influence your experience than you think. You will learn new knowledge and tools that will support your development long after the coaching container is over. A good coach will support you to develop self leadership so that the benefits from coaching will compound over time. Working with a Transformational coach doesn’t only improve one area of your life but it rather has the power to impact how you show up generally in your life.
New research shows…
A big piece of the work I do with my clients revolves around developing the skills to improve your overall emotional wellbeing. It used to be accepted that as humans we all felt or perceived our emotions in a universal way and that each emotion had a recognisable fingerprint. This has been the dominant view of emotions for a long time and it encouraged a belief that our environment triggers an emotion in us and we are at the mercy of it. New research is actually arguing that our clever brains don’t perceive or feel emotions but rather construct them based on previous experiences and learnt concepts. This means we have more control over our emotions than we thought. (Side note: just because your brain may construct emotions that doesn’t mean they aren’t real or valid - they are absolutely all of those things and the faster you learn to accept that, the better your life will be, you can quote me on this)!
You don’t get taught this stuff at school.
I did… but that’s only because I studied Psychology and Counselling, but I am not the norm in the Coaching space. As someone who may be considering hiring a coach, it’s important to work with people who understand the limitations of their knowledge and that live in integrity, particularly in the coaching space. It is an unregulated industry, which comes with its perks but also some pretty grim realities.
It’s the Wild West out there..
Coaching has some pretty unfortunate labels attached to it and there is good reason for it. There are coaches that care more about their financial gain than your transformation. There are coaches that use sleazy sales tactics to trick you into buying their tiered programs. These coaches are lacking integrity. They might have a fancy website and a huge instagram following but they may also funnel you into programs where you never actually meet them. They may encourage you to hire them so you can ‘be in their energy’ - it’s a weird vibe but it exists. A coach that has your best interest at heart will never trick you into working with them. Some individuals are so done with their current reality that they are susceptible to jumping at the shiniest carrot dangling in front of them.
My clients often come to me and say “I want help creating more boundaries” or “I want to have more intimate relationships” or “I want to show up more authentically”. By the end of our 3 months together, more often than not, they are blown away by the difference in what they asked for and what they have experienced. What most people don’t see is that all of those wants above are by-products of something bigger.
What would a compassionate relationship with yourself feel like?
By building an unshakable foundation within yourself of radical self acceptance, compassion and curiosity you will learn to treat yourself as a human being, and not as a punching bag. When you do that, your whole world changes. It sounds so corny but you truly can move from surviving to thriving. Your whole perception changes and you can start to envision what is possible for you because your inner critic’s volume has FINALLY been turned down and you can actually hear what you want. Your fear response is no longer constricting your vision, you can finally zoom out and see a bigger picture.
Survival is the bare minimum…
There is life beyond survival. When you are able to shift your perspective you will see there is a whole other world beyond survival. It is through a learning experience, like coaching, that you get to explore to the edges of your survival and finally make the shift into thriving. Because survival is the bare minimum and if you have come this far, you are probably done with accepting the bare minimum.
Are you ready?
Join the 5 Days of Becoming
mini-course.
Kickstart your confidence by taking new action and developing the intrapersonal skills required to live a fulfilled life.
